I haven't really fallen off the face of the earth....well, maybe just a few times. I kept thinking about blogging while I was off track, but couldn't seem to start. I've had many things to blog about, good and bad, but never took the time to do it. So, here I am, it's a new year, and I figured I'd start it out with a new post.
I found a great quote in a book I've been reading, The Sunflower by Richard Paul Evans. "There are times, it seems, that God throws a cosmic switch that moves the track beneath us, hurling our lives headlong in a new and uncertain direction. Of these times just two things are certain: It's best we don't know what's ahead. We can never go back." How true that is!
Some days as I look in the mirror I wonder who that person is staring back at me. I've seen it through the good and bad times. I seem to fight the emotion I see on that face, as tears fall uncontrollably. I've been through self destruction, thinking "screw the world", not seeming to care much about anything. Been in denial, not wanting to deal with what I've been dealt. It's so much easier to lessen the pain, if only temporarily. Life is still moving, whether I want it to or not, I can't move it back, no matter how hard I try. I don't feel like the same person I was 5 years ago......so much has happened since then. I've had my share of trials and tribulations, not always enjoying the scenery along the way. I fight change, and sometimes want to crawl into a little hole and wait it out. How much easier it would be....
It'd be such a great world if things would just go my way. If I could be who I wanted to be. If I could do the things I wanted to do. If I could have the things that I most desired. But then, life wouldn't be life, would it? I wouldn't grow as much as I do every day. I wouldn't be the person that I am today if I hadn't fought my way to be where I am. It might be a long and tiresome journey, but I'm amazed at what I can do and who I can become. Who knows what this year has in store for me. Dare I say....Bring it on!
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3 comments:
I so loved reading your thoughts. I get the feeling that you are doing great --that it's been a tough climb, but you are on your way back up. I knew you could do it - and I am so proud of you!!
That's a good way to look at it Mel. I do wish that 2010 will be your year, and remember you have friends and family who love you.
Hey at least you are keeping your chin up and looking at the good sine... You would miss everything in life if you were in a hole just sleeping it away. I predict you are going to have one Heck of a good year!
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