Bitterness

Warning: this post will be pathetic and negative. Feel free to skip this one. Have I mentioned that I have a bad attitude and I pretty much just don't care? I have no desire to date or do much of anything lately. I know that I'm bitter and it's my own fault. I seem to pull away from most everyone, causing more loneliness for myself. I don't want to go out with friends most days, I don't want to meet new people, I don't want to start over with the whole dating crapola. I feel like I've given up in many respects (like I said, I KNOW I have a bad attitude) and I'm not trying at all. The couple dates I have gone on were alright, but I wasn't putting forth much of an effort, and I didn't care to try. The guys figured out I wasn't interested and once again I didn't seem to care. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

Before I go on, I want to recognize my fabulous friends (you know who you are) that have been with me through every step of the way. They have been there through my good times and bad. Thanks for being my shoulder to cry on, and my rock when I need that extra strength. Thanks for cheering me up and laughing with me during happier times, and being understanding and supportive during the tougher ones.

While I'm on my soap box, can I talk about people getting special treatment?Why is it that other people with "issues" get treated special and we all have to be extra nice, or extra understanding, yet my "issues" don't seem to matter? Everyone has their own issues or problems, but mine are non existent I guess. I'm not expecting everyone to treat me "special", but be a little understanding, please. I do have feelings, and I do still hurt most of the time. My life isn't all sunny just because my divorce is over. I still have a lot of pain and a lot of damage I'm dealing with everyday. Some days it's a lot harder to pretend than it is other days. So please, give me some slack and don't expect me to be happy all the time.